Wednesday, May 27, 2009

and we're back

I am an incredible person.

While this fact doesn't explain my absence over the last month, it should provide an answer to the overwhelming sense of joyous elation you are feeling upon my return. Now, I don't want to embarrass you by dwelling any further on your blushing adoration, so I will simply say thank you, and move on...

First off, I want to welcome Aaron and Meg-o's little boy, Corbin, to the world. I can't wait to meet you and start telling you lies. I predict you will be five when you first ask your mom, "Is there something 'wrong' with uncle Scott?"

Second, I graduated. Finally. No more school for me.

If there is any testament to my awesomeness, it is in the astounding numbers to be found on my transcripts. Most people can only hack it in school until they are 22 or 23. Try 32. I withstood the rigors of the education system long enough to get 3 or 4 degrees, but not wanting to seem greedy, I only accepted 2.

Oh, you have two degrees too? Really? That's nice, I suppose.... How many schools let you in while you were earning those degrees? 1? 2? Maybe even 3? ...well, that's not to shabby, but it ain't 6, so maybe you should stop gloating. They weren't all big state schools that accept every half-literate imbecile, either. I've been to several small regional colleges that are good enough to get you in and out in 2 years.

"2 years?!!" you say? Yes. 2 Years. The statistics are staggering, I know... and yet I did these schools one better, often attending sporatically for as little as a single semester. I say learning is like dinner at a fine dining establishment. It should start slowly and then last forever, until you ultimately are gorged beyond capacity.

I will post more next time about graduation... I have pictures, and there is a lot I want to add.